1. Show pride in the fact that you are unemployed, sleep in eight days a week and live off your parents’ income. Flaunt this with no intention to change it anytime soon.
2. Make inappropriate comments, preferably sexual, to her female friends.
3. Tell her what she can and cannot wear.
4. End every single sentence with the word “Still.”
5. Act like a distant and arrogant son of a b**** to her because she wasn’t in the mood to fool around.
6. Play video games and/or watch television during obviously intimate and physical actions.
7. Always show up two or three hours late because “Something came up.”
8. Talk about yourself as much as you can. Don’t bother asking how her day was, or anything. Who does that sh**?
9. Take “Nothing” for an answer when you ask her what’s wrong despite the angry, hurt, or sad tone in her voice. Proceed with the day as if nothing happened, as if you are God’s divine gift to the earth itself.
10. Shove your tongue down her throat in public places, and/or whilst hanging out with mutual friends.
BONUS:
Enforce the rule of no parties without your royal presence, being insecure as sh**.
No comments:
Post a Comment