Study Cycle

I don't do well with waking up when waking up is followed by four-hundred pages of exam review and info-cramming. It is for this reason alone that I plugged in my phone to the sound system in my living room and chose the loudest and most annoying alarm to drag me out of bed before noon and initiate nerd mode. 

The following timeline chronologically illustrates my study cycle. 

1. Alarm of the apocalypse

The alarm goes off at 10 AM, causing the walls around me nearly to collapse. I jump out of bed and into Sunshine, (Sunshine is my wheelchair) stopping the apocalypse, seeing as it is three weeks early. The thought of returning to bed briefly crosses my mind, but no, that would be lazy and unproductive - I jump in the shower instead. 

2. Let the crisis begin.

I wrap myself in a crisp white towel and make my way to the kitchen. I manage to construct the greatest bagel of life itself, with a side of blueberries and a tall glass of coffee. (Yes, glass.) I glance over at the table, compiled of the books that await my brilliant mind, but my peripherals reveal to me my white platform bed that could totally use my company. So lonely it looks, and I dive in with no further adieu. 

3. Three hours later…

I awake beneath the crisp white sheets. My phone reads 1:30 PM and in my mind, I've already died once. I drag myself to my olive green bathroom, accurately brushing my teeth and putting some clothes on at last. I make the second glass of coffee and figure there is time to kill. 

4. The big comfy couch

Seated on my big comfy couch now, I open my laptop and then play the nonstop Christmas carols I long awaited. Briefly glancing at the notes I made last night, I open my textbook with a newly developed enthusiasm to get this sh** done with. I manage to scribble three letters down before I decide that the time has not yet come. 

5. Thoughts in my head

I start to think about the ball - the ball that is fast approaching, and the stunning, flawless dress I shall wear. I begin the online search for long diamond earrings with a hint of emerald green, and as I peer at the clock, it reads 3:43. I take a sip of the now cold coffee in front me, and say hello to an existential crisis. 

6. Existential crisis: part one

Remembering the chapter I covered in such great depth last night, my panic-mode disappears temporarily and I think of the person I am seeing and wonder why in the right mind he has not written me…yet. It crosses my mind to write him first, but the thought rapidly changes as I think about the ball once more, and the mermaid look I intend to take with me. 

7. Existential crisis: part two

Intrigued by the idea of the mermaid look, I make my way to the bathroom for a hair and makeup experiment. Flat-ironing each strand of hair on my scalp, I pull it back with clips and then experiment with tender grey eyeshadows and very intense mascaras. Then I organize a study playlist consisting of Beethoven, but realize within seven minutes that this actually terrifies the sh** out of me. I hop on Facebook, phone my mother-goose, and part of me wishes I was out right now. Part of me wishes I'd pursue my novelist dream and spend my days writing, while part of me is dreaming of a bad-ass position somewhere in marketing, or public relations, or linguistic something…the battle between art and logic fiercely tug at my conscience as the burning desire grows in me to rip the books awaiting me. 

8. Existential crisis: part three

A strong sense of hopelessness fills me as I think about the other children in my program and the progress they have made with info-cramming. As the feeling of utter uselessness drips all over my sense of self, I open my fricken' textbook and start off nice and easy. I encounter some basic definitions and come across the definition of Facebook, which my communication theory glossary defines as 'You know what this is.' Just when I think the crisis has ended, and I am ready to own the sh** out of this exam, my mind scolds the son of a b**** who wrote this lazy-ass, unprofessional excuse of a definition. I make my way to the kitchen for a tall glass of well-deserved green tea. 

9. The end of a crisis?

While leaning over my sink via Sunshine, holding a tall glass of green tea that is now only half full, the realization greets me that I paid my own tuition this year. Moreover, how awful can a communications exam be, when I owned the sh** out of much more complex subjects in philosophy and humanities. I decide the time has come to own this exam - but first, I jump into another shower and put on a  silk bath robe, because who the hell studies when they don't look good? Upon showering and changing, I manage to find a peaceful playlist that facilities my info-cramming skills, and six hours later, nerd mode is fully initiated. 

10. Fours hours later

It has been four hours since nerd mode has successfully launched. I am now half-way through my info-cramming session and my peaceful playlist has reached its end. The fireplace channel and electronic candles aren't a bad choice of substitution, however, worries are beginning to build up over other and more personal matters. In partnership with the fourth glass of caffeine, I declare that sleeping is not among my intentions tonight. I hereby declare myself a slave of stoicism [tonight].