Stages of Clinginess

STAGE ONE: The Independent Woman

Strives and thrives on the ‘independent woman’ concept, or so it seems to be that way. The stage one demonstrates intelligence, and is typically guided by logic rather than intuition. Even if she’s crazy about you, she makes it vividly clear that you’re more than welcome to walk out the door at any given time. The stage one is anything but clingy and is not the one to play mind games with, testing loyalty and interest – she’ll be just fine without you.

Pros: Her approach to love is objective and mature. Clinginess and jealousy are never an issue with a level one clinger, and she won’t nag you about silly things; you'll never hear things like "Why are you watching porn, do I not please you enough?" Moreover, even if you’ve pissed her off, she will subtract herself from your equation and live an objective, confident life without you.

Cons: Her level of emotional attachment is questionable. Not the type to delve into romantic concepts of love. The relationship could end up feeling like a business partnership, lacking passion and intensity. Never feeling 'needed' can lead to problems as well. 

STAGE TWO: Sugar and Spice

Sugar and spice contains a little bit of everything. A stage two clinger delivers genuine intelligence combined with passion, sexiness, and thrill of the chase. Typically educated on concepts of the dating scene, she doesn’t fall for silly mind games, but isn’t afraid to delve into some romance. What makes her especially fascinating is her ability to make things feel exclusive without being clingy, boring and repetitive. She gives in a little bit and then slightly pulls the plug…enough to keep the electricity going, and enough to keep you wanting more. Her approach to love and attraction is: 'Catch me...if you can.' Every single part of her must be earned through a personal magnetism that is genuine and discreet.

Pros: Confidence, intelligence, and an exquisite charm that draws you in. She’s not the one pulling your wrist to drag you into an exclusive relationship. She has an awareness of her worth which makes her authentically sexy. She knows what she wants and she knows how to get it…and chances are, she already has.

Cons: You’ll have seemingly obvious ideas of where she stands, but you’ll never know what she’s actually thinking. She'll drop subtle hints about your progress, but you remain uncertain of how you measure up until things become exclusive. Your pride and ego are put aside in the process of pursuing her. And it’s well worth it.

STAGE THREE: The Good Girl

The good girl typically gives her thoughts out unintentionally. She’s the one giggling at your jokes (even the stupid ones) and waiting by her cell phone until your next appearance. Available to see you nine times out of ten, and willing to drop her own life in a heartbeat to accommodate you and the relationship that is unfolding. The good girl will cook you four-course meals within the first month of the relationship and ensure she looks flawless each and every time she sees you. You probably meet the family early on too.

Pros: At face value, she seems perfect. You’re probably the most important person in her life, and very few things can break you apart. She's selfless and giving, and there is a guarantee of commitment and dedication. 

Cons: She surrenders herself entirely and there is nothing challenging/stimulating left for you to pursue. This often leads to boredom and curiosity, eventually causing distance in the relationship…probably from you.

STAGE FOUR: The Psychopathic Girlfriend

The psychopathic girlfriend is nothing short of every guy’s nightmare. She is known to be jealous, possessive, clingy, and nine times out of ten, insecure beyond human comprehension. She’s the one that glares at you with a look of death when a half-naked girl appears on the TV screen. She goes through your phone with or without your knowledge, testing your loyalty, and she sends you countless text messages inquiring your whereabouts at all times. She’s known to discuss touchy topics like marriage and children very early on, and she feels entitled to your mind, body, and soul to the point where it is creepy, annoying and downright psychotic.

Pros: She’ll always be around…ALWAYS!!!  

Cons: Endless suffocation. If you ever step foot into a strip club, do not put it past her to put a bullet through your skull. Her approach to love is 'JUST MARRIED!'...two days into an exclusive relationship.