Insanity

I miss this. I miss the words which shamelessly escape my tongue, mixed with insanity on the pursuit of happiness. I miss the confusion corrupting my conscience, hopelessly searching for a route to some sanity, and mostly, I miss tracking the progress to  happily ever after.

Grown-up life has changed my direction drastically. These days, I’m surrounded by peace, with just enough chaos to fulfill my craving. My night-owl tendencies are fading away, and most nights, I sleep in peace when terrifying dreams aren’t chasing my rest. I can call myself ecstatic, but I’ve neglected a part of me vital to my existence, and that is something I admit with shame.

These days, I sound different than I used to. I’ve earned a part of me that I’ve long awaited, but every now and then, I’m still on the hunt for insanity. I like to journey through the cemetery across the street, and occasionally, suntan on a bench next to dead people. I like to philosophize over white wine, and wake up to the sweet sounds of trance that keep me company in the midst of cooking breakfast. Sometimes, I slither beneath the lavender-scented sheets, and do absolute-nothingness in the realm of my freedom.

In other thoughts and stories, I continue to track the progress to happily ever after, but one thing I’ve learned is that happily ever after was the one chasing me. I must have been playing hard to get. Put to rest your search for happiness – when the time is right, it claims you.