Ruin it With Prince Charming [8]

1. Whine, whine, whine! Especially outside of the bedroom.

2. Text message the female members of his contact list to ensure he’s not f***ing around.

3. Buy some kind of shared fluffy creature the two of you share custody of and use it as a means to keep the relationship going even if it’s sh**ty.

4. More frequently than not, feed him frozen food.

5. B**** at him and express strong forms of anger because your over-dramatic girlfriends decided to piss you off.

6. Make him feel guilty because he is unable to attend to your needs and be your chauffeur.

7. Interrupt his every every other sentence.

8. Distract him in sexual ways so he doesn’t go out with his friends. Dress up in lingerie, too, that should let him know how desperate and insecure you are do the trick.

9. Be overly affectionate in public, even though he’s hardly holding your fricken’ hand. Nothing shows more jealousy and possessiveness love and tenderness.

10. Act like a total b**** in social gatherings because there happen to be other females that are slightly more attractive than you. This makes up for your lack of looks!