Thursday, November 3, 2011

Cookie-Cutter Existence

I am the goddess of essay-writing. I’m in love with words and I’m in love with writing, and if compiling a bad-ass argument is part of the task, I get all excited and passionate as if I’m writing wedding vows, or something. Naturally, my self-esteem was destroyed last week when I scored a C fricken’ minus on this paper I wrote for a course I’m taking.

A lot has happened that I haven’t written about. The reason I have not written is because not only am I busy as hell, but I’m also going through life-changing, eye-opening stuff, and nine times out of ten, I just don’t feel like telling you about my thoughts, feelings, and adventures these days.

The only thing I wanted to share with you is the C fricken’ minus I scored last week, and some other things on my mind.

-   The cold, frigid winter on its way, accompanied by the Christmas carols that will fill my-little-heart with delight.

-   The twelve pairs of sunglasses I eagerly await as they make their way towards me in a FedEx box.

-   The puppets I’m surrounded by, stuffed with a simple thought process and blinded by the purpose of their cookie-cutter existence.

-   The cookie-cutter goal I gave up to ever give birth to kids of my own, and the abrupt decision I made to adopt a Russian baby.

-   The fact that nothing uncomplicated and ordinary interests me anymore; my undying need to feel corrupted, entangled, and prone to chaos.

-   The anniversary of my singleness and the road to happiness, character, depth and education that I’ve been so lucky to multiply, deepen, and refine.

-   The loss of words I’m facing as I come to understand people more and more by the day.

-   The sharp intuition which leads me to believe I’m heading towards something extraordinary.

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