1. Talk sh** about your ex. It totally shows you’re over him and ready to be on this date.
2. Swear in every other sentence.
3. Make a mean comment about every hot girl that walks by.
4. Be uptight every time he teases you about something.
5. Threaten to take his female friends’ eyes out with a plastic fork.
6. Use the word “Like” a hundred and thirty two times in a sentence.
7. Whine and complain about your life as often as humanly possible.
8. List yourself as “Married” on facebook even though there was no wedding, no proposal and probably not even an “I love you.”
9. Complimenting #8, change your last name to his on facebook.
10. Go on one of those baby-making websites to get pictures of your future babies – email them to him too – you know what, send them in a multimedia text message and include pictures of all three kids – the more, the better!
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