It's Not You, It's Me

Dear 2011,

It brings me great sadness to kiss you goodbye as the final week or so of your presence, crumbles in my little hands. Actually that’s a filthy lie. I’m happy to get rid of your unproductive, procrastinating, money-spending ass. Nonetheless, I’d like to thank you for the things you had to offer in our relationship, such as:

-The arrival of my bad-ass German wheelchair after its X-month delivery process.

-The electronic-sticky-notes that brought me back to sanity after a post-apocalyptic state. (See ‘Variable Ex’ in Story-Time.)

-The dumping of my psychology program for Communications.

-The super-cute clothing items in my drawers that still contain price-tags.

-All the stupid sh** I bought like fancily-decorated-boxes, piles of sticky-notes, polka-dotted aprons, fancy wooden spoons, organic baby powder, and so on.

-All of the useful stuff I bought, like my white fur coat, fairy-tale mirror, extra drawers for my clothes, leopard bedding from Hong Kong, strapless tops in X colors, apple-flavored-laptop, blackberry, and much more.

-The finality of my artificial black hair after a seven-hour encounter with hydrogen-peroxide.

-The opportunity to live downtown in bad-ass central!

-The super-power to detect poisonous people in my life.

-A very special encounter with someone quite spectacular. 

-The X dollars I dropped at the mall this summer, amounting to X times my tuition fee.

-The new fluffy sugarplum that moved into my house and ruined precisely X pairs of shoes, one purse, and two Givenchy lipsticks.

-The twelve pairs of sunglasses which now reside in my drawer.

-The job and bank account that made all the splurging possible, in partnership with the company of my friends and other loved ones.

Anyhow, it’s not you it’s ME. And I happen to have my eyes on something new, who goes by the name of ‘2012’. Oh, the things I’m gonna do to it!